October 31st

I need a reality tv show

The expression when it rains, it pours is the caption of my life. There is nothing I do half way. When I make a mess its HUGE, when I make dinner I go all out, when I clean its from top to bottom, when I am feeling lazy I don't do a thing, when I decide to have kids I have three in a row, when I love, laugh, dance, I do it with everything in me.
 The same goes for when things go bad, they really, really go bad. I don't just get lost, I get utterly and completely three hours in the wrong direction. When I get sick I land myself in the hospital. When I get an idea, I don't stop until I have it in my hands. If I were to have a flat tire, it wouldn't stop there, it would be while on a 8 lane highway, while on the way to the hospital to have a baby, trying to call a taxi before I dropped my phone in a puddle.

Here is a true story. Last month, my daughter, Eden, almost 3, woke up early and was restless. Eden kept having to go the bathroom and was very uncomfortable, and the signs pointed to a UTI. I had kids coming that day for me to watch but I new I needed to get my daughter into the doctor. So, I scrambled with many phone calls and got the kids taken care of so I could get to the doctors. I loaded up the kids and did the usual wait in the lobby, I think we only ripped three magazines too. The nurse then told me we needed a urine sample..hmmm. I asked HOW?????
She sent me to the bathroom with all three kids and a hat thingy for the sample. Between several Old McDonalds and Itsy Bitsy Spiders and Bode eating toilet paper from gosh knows where and Gigi slipping on water, (really hope it was just water..) and then spilling some of the 'sample' down my sleeve we made it out unharmed, but barely.
Then we waited and waited. The doctor came into to find, Bode sucking on the sturrups, Eden trying to access personal information on the computer and Gigi crying bc the last page of the story was torn out. Where was I? I was rocking in the corner still traumatized from the bathroom sample episode.

The result was positive, a urinary track infection. Prescription sent and we were on our way.

Of course there was a line and we had to wait...finally it was our turn and wouldn't you know it, for one reason or another something was screwy with the insurance and we had to go somewhere else or pay about $300.00. GRR..
 Loaded up and headed to Safeway so they could call Walgreens and have it transferred. OH, and there was a Loooong line. Eden knocked all the little boxes off the display ( I justify this by making sure someone has a job out there bc of people like me with children, job security, right??). Then someone hair got pulled and then there was a lot a screaming and I looked for an exit so I could just run away, but then I caught sight of the wine and that made me remember Eden's prescription and I perserved.
 All that, and they said to come back in a couple hours. I was kinda glad to go, and I am pretty everyone else was glad to see me leave.

After a couple hours, we head back, wait in line only to find out its special order and won't be in till noon the next day. WHAT!?
I was really concerned about Eden not having any medication and I had kids coming the next day how was I going to get it?

Got home, started brushing the kids teeth for bed, I was scrubbing and scrubbing this spot on Gigi's front tooth only to look closely and see it was a hole. Yes, a cavity on her front tooth. Was this really happening? Blaine came home and I was a puddle on the stairs. He said all the usual things, we will call the dentist, your a good mom blah blah blah, I really wasn't listening, bc I was convinced I was killing my children.

Next morning Eden is worse, she hadn't peed she was pale, passing out from the pain, crying and clinging to me. I am not so good at seeing my kids in pain..I was trying to get a hold of my Doctor, and shuffle kids other places so I could get her to the clinic. A new prescription was ordered and we ( Blaine came home) raced her to the Clinic where they wanted an ultrasound. The new medican was purchased, the ultrasound was good and we ended up not needing the cathater. And she peed. Thankfully I picked up the first prescription bc it came back a few days later.

Later that day, I took Gigi in for her dentist appointment. I chased the kids around and tried to be there for Gigi. By this point I was running on E, So many emotions had pulsed through my body that I was really numb and everything was getting fuzzy. We made the appointment for Gigi's surgery and I headed out to load the kids in the car. It was hot out, take your breath away hot. I opened the van door, reached up front to start the car and get the AC going. I strapped the kids in and shut the door..........and then realized my door was locked....all the doors were locked.....I. Locked. My. Kids. In. The. Car. My purse, phone and BOTH set of keys were in the car.

I raced back into the office, praying it was still open bc people were driving away. I franticly said I need to call Blaine, explained what I did and tried to get a hold of my husband who would know what to do bc he always does, thats why I married him, bc I was always messing up and he knew how to fix things!! Thank the Lord the lady called a towing company bc THEY could actually get the kids out of the car, what was Blaine going to do? Break a window?

The guy came, opened the car and I drove away. To this day the door whistles, reminding me to always keep my door open when my kids are in it, that flossing IS important and I could make a fortune on TV.

I wish I had taken that pic..

My little Eden is my wild card. That little girl keeps things in motion all day long and even at night...

Just thinking about what she did two nights ago send me into fits of giggles.

I was headed off to bed, so I quickly went into the girls room to check on them. I pulled the blankets around Gigi, and turned to do the same for Eden. As my eyes were adjusting to the dark, all I could make out were dark spot around her and something on her face, that looked like lines. 

 I saw first that she was wearing Gigi's glasses, ( insert a giggle here..lol) then my hands were picking up half eaten strawberries EVERYWHERE. I pulled back the sheet and there where no less then twenty strawberries with a little nibble out of every single one. I ran to grab Blaine, because the very sight of this was too good not to share. We laughed ourselves to sleep that night...

Look where I found my lil' man this morning...

Working on years of undoing

I have been reading some pretty amazing blogs lately. Along with all the inspiring stories, beautiful photos, and humor I also felt overwhelmed..what could I possibly have to offer?


Well, I was reminded today by my 4 year old that what matters most is not giving up. The story goes as follows..


Gigi got a new preschool work book for her birthday. I have been trying to guide her through it and for the most part she enjoys it. Today, she was tracing the letter B. Sounds simple enough; a line, then a half circle, and another half circle. I did the first couple and had her do the next and after a few tries she threw her crayon down and said she was giving up. 


I saw myself incarnate in this little sour faced child, with her arms crossed and a big tear slipping down her cheek. I wanted to tell her that the world was her for the choosing, that she could be whatever she desired and all it would take was to try, try, try..to never give up because it would all pay off. I loved her more then ever in that brief moment because I recognized her desire to succeed. Gigi wanted to write letters like mommy and pride got in the way of her continuing to try.


I guided her back to the letters. I held her hand and encouraged her to keep going. She did, they looked far from perfect but this mama could not have felt prouder if she won the Nobel Prize, she didn't give up..she taught ME a lesson.


I can not even count all the things I have tried and quickly walked away from because they were either hard or because there were people so much better at them...


 I have learned a valuable lesson today as a mom and women. All things worth knowing are worth learning no matter the cost. So here is to my Blog, a small step in undoing years of giving up.

You know your doing something right when..

 ...your sweeping the floor for the fifth time that day and your child is sitting at the table doodling with her markers, when she looks up and says " Mama, I feel my heart is so big with all my love for you in it"

Those tears I cried were made from nothing but joy.